Definitions

Sage-and-onioning

Do you know why job boards tell recruiters to stuff their job ads with certain keywords and phrases? It’s to boost their own Google ranking for that particular set of words. The higher the job board’s Google ranking, the more likely that job board are going to attract more recruiters to spend money with them, …

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Badjectives

“Human being needed. Must be able to speak and listen. Some experience in marketing would be desirable.” Run that job ad and how many applications do you think you’d get? Enough that, if you read them all, you’d be kept very busy. If we pull back from that particular nightmare scenario, describing your ideal candidate …

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Ironicantly

What’s really going on in the minds of recruiters who type out the words “this is an exciting job opportunity” then post what is essentially just a job description? Are they expecting their target candidates to pore over long, boring content that has hardly any paragraph breaks to find little nuggets of information that might …

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Recruiterbot

The age of the bot probably started back in the early 2000s. That was when job boards became a thing and it was cheap to post hundreds of ads that were just cut-and-pastes of the clients’ job descriptions. Then, whenever a fresh-faced graduate embarked on their career as a Talent Acquisition Consultant, on day one …

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Bulletproofing

“Bullets are easier to read”, they said. “The reader needs to know ALL the job requirements so they can decide whether to apply for the job”, they said. “They”, more often than not, are a marketing intern. Someone whose only other work experience was selling discount bedroom furniture and who are now working for a …

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Recliché

Recycling plastic is good. When people regularly see you doing it, they’re gradually buying into the notion that you’re a good person who cares about the planet. Recycling clichés is bad. When people regularly see you doing this, they’re buying into the notion that you’re just like all those recruiters they’ve had bad experiences with. …

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Sauce-ing

What would an excitable Accountant look like? Someone who wets their pants when they see a profit-and-loss report? What about a passionate Project Manager? Someone who gets hot under the collar about Gannt charts? Is that really the kind of applicant you want? No, of course not. Those kinds of people are probably a bit …

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Aloofing

If candidates ever see a job advert that uses the term “the incumbent”, they should run, click away, swipe left. Companies who talk like this hate them. They treat their staff as the great unwashed. They think they’re doing the world a favour by having a job vacancy. Their HR department is probably still called …

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Selphish

Phishing. Nobody needs this. When I first came into recruitment, most of our candidates came from fake jobs. They were fake because each one was an amalgam of different jobs and were really just telling a certain type of candidate that the agency was open for business. You could get away with that back in …

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Jobsplaining

Brad’s an Accountant. He’s been one for about 15 years. He’s sitting on the train home after a particularly bad day at work. First, he was passed over for promotion. Then his boss behaved even more stupidly than usual. On reflection, Brad has realised that he’s become stale and isn’t learning anything anymore. So, he …

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